Friday, February 13, 2009

Dating Goes Penny-Wise



Until last winter, Jin Sung-jin treated every blind date to a classy dinner at a swanky restaurant in Cheongdam-dong, Seoul's posh district, and a cocktail-and-jazz bar afterward. Now, he escorts girls to T.G.I. Friday's, where a free appetizer and dessert are included in a value meal.

Doing the math, the 29-year-old public relations manager figured that his previous dating style, which easily cost him 120,000 won ($100) per outing, was enough to go on two cheaper dates.

"I can't keep up with that kind of lifestyle anymore," said Jin, who recently lost 30 percent of his savings through stocks and funds. ``But I still want to continue dating so that I can get married soon.''

So instead of whisking women to posh venues, he started exploring destinations that were less costly, but creative.

"You can't go wrong with a museum," said Jin, who also opts to go ice skating or bike riding on a warmer day. "Sometimes, these activities turn out to be better than sitting in a fancy bar or cafe, because you get to learn more about the other person."

Jin is right, says Yoon Ji-ae, a consultant at Date Coach, an online site that provides dating advice.

She said dating shouldn't be an expensive event that excessively pressures men.

"Unfortunately, the reality is that the expense most often fall on males, so they are the ones having to stress over the money crunch," said Yoon, who explained that many singles are starting to downgrade from gourmet restaurants to casual rendezvous.

A recent survey by job portal Career of 1,000 people showed that 40 percent of men decided to break up with their girlfriends for financial reasons.

While bachelors are outright squeezed by the economic downturn, Kim Ji-sun, a 27-year-old who actively dates, says women are also forced to adjust around the reality.

"I used to buy a new outfit for every first date. It made me feel better and confident," she said, "but I stopped doing that this year. It's just too much money."

To save on outfits, Kim even started swapping clothes with her close girlfriends, who also want a new mix of clothes for their romantic outings.

Yoon, the dating coach, says there is a general understanding that people are tight on money, so both men and women shouldn't be shy about cutting their budgets.

"Go to the movies, watch a sports game at an open stadium, take a walk in the scenic parts of town ― there is so much to do," she said, stressing, "If your date has a problem with the little money spent, he or she isn't worth dating."